I got diagnosed with ADHD today.  I actually find myself feeling ok with this.  I would have probably really been against this a semesster or two ago.  But I need help.  I'm disorganized.  I have trouble getting this done.  I can't find stuff.  I forget important things that I shouldn't ever forget. I have a really hard time being still. I barely know how.  I have a hard time just sitting down and taking break.  Apparently these are all signs of adult ADHD which is doesn't occur in the form of bouncing off walls.  I actually feel hopefull that finally I can get a handle on things in life once I start being treated for my symptoms.  I'm actually really happy about this diagnosis.

I'm tired. so tired. so many emotions have been running marathons through my system.  I had a good talk with Dr. K today.  I can talk really honestly with him.  That has been a surprising thing for me to learn.  Dr. K is A REALLY GOOD LISTENER.  If that is surprising to you, it's because you haven't sat down and had a really long conversation with him.  He talks a lot. But if you listen to him well, he really listens to you well, also.  I'm learning that I've been wrong about what I have thought about him.  There's more to him than the "Go to Uganda" banner he waves.  His heart and motives are good and right.  He is proving to me that he doesn't have selfish or personal reasons for so strongly desiring for Christians to go to Uganda to be trained. I told him that I don't know if I'll ever go to Uganda but maybe I can help others to understand him/his language/where he's coming from.  When I said that to him he threw his back and to the side with a kind of a laugh and then looked at me with an interesting shine in his big Dutch eyes. I told him, "because we speak in different languages"...he always talks about the dying culture.  The "dying culture" doesn't really get where Dr. K is coming from.  My periodic dialogues with Dr. K are helping me to slowly see things through his eyes.  He lets me argue and disagree with him.  He listens and speaks and exhorts with grace and godliness. I have a lot respect for him and I am sorry for worrying about the conversation I was going to have with him today. The Lord rebuked me for my attitude.  He didn't tell me to go to Uganda, but He did tell me to go to Dr. K and really listen to him.