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violetsanddandelions
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Name: Alyssa Dawn
Birthday: 9/6/1984
Gender: Female
Interests: I like tree swings with wooden seats and daydreaming. I love to meet new people and get to know them and try to understand them. I like listening to many different genres of music. I like reading and writing according to my mood. I love going to musicals, plays, concerts, coffee shops, pretty parks, and parks with roller coasters. I love to go on longs walks with a friend. I like to be "weird" and "silly" -especially when I'm stressed. I like talking a lot, talking to myself, walking on curbs, and making up silly stories. I like kids. I greatly enjoy reading out loud...with drama. Last but not least--I love talking to and with people about God and His love and grace for us and awesome work in our lives.
Expertise: Giving back rubs and...take this however you will... I would say that I have mastered burping. Other than that I'm quite lady-like! : ) I'm also an expert at making my sister laugh.
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Member Since:
9/21/2005
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| Life is easier with my glasses off. With them off I don't notice who is looking at me, and I can't tell what people might be thinking of me. Eventually, I forget to care. I'm not as inhibited when I look at people's faces. I wonder if I'm more attreactive when I can't see so well. Funny. Already my own little world is enveloping me...*sigh of relief* I like this world. There are fewer comparisons made (on my side). I worry less. But I can't really live like that. (I have a swelled bruise beneath my right eye brow.) But maybe...I can practice. | | |
| I got diagnosed with ADHD today. I actually find myself feeling ok with this. I would have probably really been against this a semesster or two ago. But I need help. I'm disorganized. I have trouble getting this done. I can't find stuff. I forget important things that I shouldn't ever forget. I have a really hard time being still. I barely know how. I have a hard time just sitting down and taking break. Apparently these are all signs of adult ADHD which is doesn't occur in the form of bouncing off walls. I actually feel hopefull that finally I can get a handle on things in life once I start being treated for my symptoms. I'm actually really happy about this diagnosis. I'm tired. so tired. so many emotions have been running marathons through my system. I had a good talk with Dr. K today. I can talk really honestly with him. That has been a surprising thing for me to learn. Dr. K is A REALLY GOOD LISTENER. If that is surprising to you, it's because you haven't sat down and had a really long conversation with him. He talks a lot. But if you listen to him well, he really listens to you well, also. I'm learning that I've been wrong about what I have thought about him. There's more to him than the "Go to Uganda" banner he waves. His heart and motives are good and right. He is proving to me that he doesn't have selfish or personal reasons for so strongly desiring for Christians to go to Uganda to be trained. I told him that I don't know if I'll ever go to Uganda but maybe I can help others to understand him/his language/where he's coming from. When I said that to him he threw his back and to the side with a kind of a laugh and then looked at me with an interesting shine in his big Dutch eyes. I told him, "because we speak in different languages"...he always talks about the dying culture. The "dying culture" doesn't really get where Dr. K is coming from. My periodic dialogues with Dr. K are helping me to slowly see things through his eyes. He lets me argue and disagree with him. He listens and speaks and exhorts with grace and godliness. I have a lot respect for him and I am sorry for worrying about the conversation I was going to have with him today. The Lord rebuked me for my attitude. He didn't tell me to go to Uganda, but He did tell me to go to Dr. K and really listen to him. | | |
| I finally took the time to care enough to figure out how to upload my own profile pic.! I found this picture a long time ago...it took me a while and then I guess I was too lazy to figure out how set it as my profile picture. I'm really proud of myself. I know it's not a big deal...but I don't have facebook, myspace, or anything that I feel obliged to post pictures to the internet for. Plus, I just don't have very many pictures. I have zero pictures on my computer, and I do feel that it is a tragedy...or maybe it's a good thing...I don't know. But I'm excited that I learned something new and technical all by myself!! | | |
| How neglectful I have been... This morning I developed film for the first time. It was exciting but I was rather worried that my pictures would not turn out. When I finally got to see my film I saw that every picture had turned out! Now HOW they turned out is the question. Last night I was in an abominable mood due to overexhaustion and an attack of allergy problems. (I cleaned a house madly inbetween church and choir practice yesterday, all the while breathing more dust than I care to fully acknowledge. The day before I worked 41/2 hours before almost killing my out-of-shape body for thirty-five minutes on the elliptical and then played a mean and pathetic game of ping pong in Founders with my adorable friend Hope, walked back and forth from my apartment and finally slowed down realizing I was not feeling well.) (I enjoy putting as much information within parenthesis so as to cause people to forget what I was originally talking about.) I have changed my attitude about my ability to learn photography. I just need to stop griping and just put forth a tiny bit of positive effort. One tiny step at a time. It's a good thing Gretchen is my housemate, and I thank God for the blessed woman who called me to help me get up on time this morning. These days I might look a little bit more like I have things together, what with my new job in Admissions and needing to dress up more often in addition to my new growing positive outlook on my life and the daily tasks that are before me. It is only by the grace of God that I can ever have anything together. I have to ask for help all the time. I am gaining my independence by accepting my dependence on God and others. (Weird how that works!) I went without financial worry to the ophthamologist a week and half ago thanks to my wonderful church. My car is getting many essential parts replaced and I will soon be driving it again, thanks to my wonderful church. I walk around wearing glasses that are nearly my perscription and give me a new and well-appreciated look thanks to my friend Anna. I will be getting new glasses, thanks to my church. I have cash for groceries and other needs, thanks to the Crosses who give me babysitting and housecleaning jobs. I am increasing in confidence thanks to the body of Christ, i.e. my church community, college community, and amazing friends. My life is getting better because I am replacing my pride with the acceptance of the better things that only God can give me. I say all this not to brag about how much God loves me, but to be an encouragement and testimony. It's important for Christians to witness Jesus to each other too. | | |
| I am sitting in Ruth's house staring at her old computer and feeling
the warm air from their old heater blowing against me. I am also
wearing her wool socks...which I've been wearing since last
night. Thankfully her house in not as cold as the Kreuze's.
I nearly died two nights ago from the cold.
Ruth, say something.
"At the moment I feel quite satiated. As in very full. Alyssa and I had
a great time at the restaurant I work at--we both enjoyed our margarita
("pomegranate" margaritas) and its ensuing "buzz." Alyssa, in fact, had
a little trouble walking in a straight line to the bathroom (which I
might add was only about 20 feet from our booth :). I started worrying
about her when she'd been gone for 8 minutes, so I gave her 4 more
before I was going to go in there after her. But I was thankful to see
her emerge alive and ready for dessert! ;) We topped off our meal with
eggnog icecream redolent with rum and heavy cream....great choice,
don't you think? :) And we made it home, too. I know, our liquor
tolerance level is rather pitiful (at least to more experienced
drinkers), but for those of us accustomed to contract..."
So that was some gracious commentation from my awesome friend,
Ruth. I love her. She works at Rosa Mexicano in Atlantic
Station. We took pictures of ourselves fully recuperated and
silly in front of the Christmas tree outside.
I fully recommend such festive behavior.
When we got home I curled up with four Felker girls on a day bed and
watched Nanny Diaries. Which reminds me that this morning I held
Ruth's six week old darling sweet niece in my arms and realized that it
is true that I want to be a mother some day. I was told that I
looked like a natural. Well...it's not like I haven't ever been a
nanny or spent half my working hours caring children. Tomorrow,
Ruth must babysit and then go to work. I will be happy
preoccupied with helping her mother get some chores done. I'm
looking forward to it, because one of the things I might be doing is
learn how to sew a hem, which will make me a more domestic and virtuous
woman.
Last night I ran into Victoria Horne at Christ Church where Ruth is
also now attending worship. It was such a blessing to run into
her. I sat next to her while we enjoyed the Christmas program
which was absolutely beautiful. There are many talented people at
that church.
Christmas break and Christmas is already looking to be so much happier for me this year.
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